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Goodbye

If you’re reading this, then know I am no longer with this earth. This is not a joke or a prank or some account hacking or anything of the sort.

This is completely real and a final message to all my online acquaintances that have ever befriended, watched me on my fanfiction or deviantart accounts or youtube. Tumblr is the only media site I’m on that has a “timed post” so I felt this was the only way I can give whatever closure I can to all of you without having alerted anyone too soon.

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Firstly, before I say anything, I want to say thank you to anyone and everyone who has ever left a comment or a review or talked to me online. It was always great to come home from a long day at work and see all the comments that viewers and followers left on my works. I’ve lost count of the amount of hours I’ve spent searching through Tumblr and getting laughs and enjoyment from so many other people in the same fandoms as me. It truly was great to share something like that with so many people.

Know that every ounce of kindness and fun I had with each and every one of you will always be something I hold close. You have all played at least one moment in my life, moments that are like diamonds to me in worth and just a reminding sadness of what I have let go.

I will miss creating fanart of characters I have held dear nearly my entire life. I will miss creating fanfiction and forms of writing that brought about its own entire entity and world. I will truly miss creating these pieces of works and sharing it with others and getting their feedback.

I will truly miss that.

I’m sure at least some of you will wonder, “Did I do enough?” Yes you did. You did everything I could ever ask for or expect from a friend, and more. Never question the amount of kindness or companionship you gave me. Never question if there was something more you could have done because in the end, there is nothing that anyone…anyone could have done to mend or heal my pains or to keep me going. I decided that I simply did not want to deal with my pains anymore. Nothing more, nothing less.

If there was anything, anything at all that I felt would have kept me going, something that a friend or family member could do, I would have reached out. I would have asked for help, but no one I know can remedy these pains, both physical and emotional.

No one.

It was a decision I made on my own and died with on my own. It was something I was debating and trying to make a decision on for many years of my life until it finally came full circle. I don’t think there is a day that didn’t go by that I didn’t think about dieing at least for one moment in each of those days. It was a thought that stayed with me long before I met the vast majority of you…actually…probably all of you. The only people who have ever been there from the beginning have long since been gone, on with their lives and who I have long since never had contact with or kept contact with. Part of me is glad that none of you were there when my pains first truly started because it would be too sad to see how much I have truly changed since then and not in the best of ways. You didn’t have to sit through the years and see the downgrade of my emotions, the horrible down spiral of my personality and seeing it dwindling down to but a shadow of what it once was.

None of you had to be witness to the true loss of what I used to be; the spark I once had, the true joyful nature and bubbliness that I used to carry with me, the optimism I used to uphold. I can’t think of anything more saddening then to be witness to something beautiful wither over the years until its like a dead thing sitting and collecting dust.

___________________________

-To the readers of the story, “Behind Closed Doors” a GrimmIchi Fanfic-

I truly wanted to finish this story. I was so close to the end of this incredible story that I wrote for more than a year on, but no matter how I tried, I just could not find the motivation or inspiration to finish it so I will give a brief summary of how it ends. I left off on what the 30th chapter. Grimmjow and Ichigo have a meal together. Ichigo asks Grimmjow what he plans to do if they make it out alive. Grimmjow never had a chance to ponder such plans so he’s not sure. He then asks Ichigo back the same question to which Ichigo answers, “I was thinking…we could get a place together. It’s going to be a bumpy start in a new country so might as well rent a place with someone to make it easier, but most importantly with someone I trust.Don’t feel obligated to stick around after all this, but…it’s just a thought.” Grimmjow then agrees to the idea, surprising Ichigo with his answer.

Later they head out so Grimmjow can finish Ichigo’s paper work at his office, giving Ichigo a chance to see Uryuu again and fill him on everything that had happened. Uryuu mentions Shinji as to which Ichigo states that Shinji had helped him once. Grimmjow then takes Ichigo clothes shopping and his badge for work. It is later Grimmjow takes Ichigo finally to the camp to see his family. After seeing his family and other Jews in such conditions, it compels Ichigo later when they get back to Nel’s place, to beg Grimmjow to help them. They argue for a bit until Grimmjow demans that Ichigo gives himself to him as final proof of trust as to which Ichigo blurts out, “damn it grimmjow I WANT…you…” pausing in mid word as he realized what was about to explode from his mouth in frustration. “i…” not believing what uttered from his tongue “you…what? What were you going to say?!” “i…” “…SAY IT!” “I WANT YOU!”

From this point on in the best summary I can give from the last bit I documented with my ideas for the story, it basically goes something to the affect of, Ichigo does his job for a bit while he, Uryuu, and Shinji makes plans for them and their family to leave. Grimmjow get’s Ichigo’s family out eventually as they all leave together with Nell, but not without having a gun fight upon getting caught at a junction point. Not one gets to seriously hurt except some guards, but eventually they make it out of the country. It some time later with a small time gap that the Nuremberg Trials take place. Grimmjow is seized to be put on trial since he’s one of the many major Generals. Ichigo attends the trial as he’s asked many questions of the crimes he did indeed commit, but nothing too horribly gruesome or terrible, but enough to put him away, but during the near end of the trial, Ichigo pleads to have the sentence reduced as he makes his case about what Grimmjow did for him and his family as well as Uryuu and his father. Etc etc. The judge | jury, take it into consideration and lowers the jail sentence for Grimmjow. Ichigo waits patiently for the sentence to be up and he writes Grimmjow nearly every day and visits him as much as possible until finally he is set free. They get a place together and live out the rest of their lives in peace.

If any follower of this story wants to finish where I left off with the information given here, you are free to do so. I’m deserves to finality that I can no longer finish. I would be honored if someone did take on the task of finishing it, but its not obligated. I at least wanted my followers to know where I was leading the rest of the story and how it generally ends. I am truly sorry I didn’t finish this and I can not express with words the amount of gratitude I have for everyone who left the most beautiful and wonderful reviews I have ever received for any form of fiction I have ever written.

___________________________

-To Callie, my closest online friend-

There is no form of apology in any language, written form or verbal that can make up for the decision I have made, the action I have taken and the pain this will bring you.

To be honest, I’m not really sure what to say so I’ll keep it brief.

We’ve been friends since 2008 and it is the closest online friendship I have ever had. It truly was. I’ll never forget the fun we had roleplaying. You’re definitely the best roleplayer I ever roleplayed with. I’ll never forget all the laughs we’ve had and sharing the same fandoms. I’ll never forget the fun of watching you advance in your drawing skills and helping you learn to shade. It’s been really fun. I just wish I knew a simple way to explain to you the depths of my pain and why I have made this decision, but I just can’t.

I’d have to write a novel to explain where my pains stem from and why they stuck with me until the end.

You have been through so much since I first met you, and you have made it so far. I know you are plagued and haunted by insecurities that I too had once a upon a time ago. I know the pain and I know the struggles you have gone through. All I can say is, that I’ve already said a thousand times before; you are beautiful. You will always be beautiful and one day you will learn to see it for yourself. You’re incredibly smart and quick witted. You’re talented and passionate about animals. You’re stronger than you think you are. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have made it as far as you have. You are a higher minded thinker than the rest of the lot and truly a diamond in the rough. There are so many qualities about you that you have yet to truly see for yourself and truly believe that you have. One day you will discover these things for what they are and you will shine brighter than a thousand suns. I can only pray that you never have to ever go down the roads I have gone down, feel the pains I have always felt.

You are one of many unique individuals I have been gifted with chance to meet and I will never forget you. I don’t know what God has planned for me in the afterlife, but if I can and he allows it, I will watch over you for the rest of your days.

I don’t expect any forgiveness for the pain this will ricocheted not just to you, but to my family and other friends as well. I truly tried to stay as long as I could stand it, but I can stand it no longer.

I am so sorry to you and to everyone.

I am truly sorry.

Goodbye, good luck, forevermore. -DragonKeeper333

Sherlockians reaction to Whovians 12th Dr reaction

So the 12th Doctor was revealed for the next Dr. Who (and the last if I remember correctly?) Keep in mind I don’t speak for all Sherlockian’s, but I’m sure a lot of them have the same reaction I’m having, watching from the sidelines sitting here going…

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"Damn…what’s all that yelling about?"

And so many angry Whovians are like….

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So as a non Dr Who fan person I’m sitting here going…

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"Shit…and I thought we had problems."

Seriously though…Dr Who has been running since the 60’s. Sherlock has been running for 6 episodes in the last 2-3 years…6 EPISODES out of how many you guys get to fondle over in the Dr Who universe? Seriously?

Don’t get me wrong here. I may not be a Whovian, but I most definitely know what it feels like to have an iconic character replaced with something that looks like it came out of a dumpster truck. *cough* Devil May Cry Reboot *cough*. Bitches please…don’t even get me STARTED on the Devil May Cry Reboot.

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Well actually I semi love it now, but that’s besides the point.

The bottom line is, you guys will learn to love the 12th Doctor just how you learned to love the 11th and the 10th and the 9th and the 8th—…etc etc. It’s not like they’re replacing the Doctor with…oh I don’t know…Frank n Furter.

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*Shudders* I mean is it really so bad? And if you sit there going “You don’t understand. You’re not a Whovian…blah blah blah” well then refer to the Devil May Cry gif set statements above. Yes I do understand, just under a different sentiment.

Besides, the first Dr. Who as well as many others, were old farts. Really awesome old farts. Now they have the 12th as another not-as-old-fart that is pretty neat and Scottish I might add (excuse my scottish bloodline). It’s not like its anything new if you really think about it.

Look, just as Moffat was stating in an interview, he didn’t feel like Peter was ready as the next doctor yet, but now is that time. And watching the live show revealing of the 12th Doctor, I got the same feeling Moffat did. I think this new guy will make a great Doctor, and I don’t even watch the show and still I’m here thinking, “Yeah, I can see it. You’ll be great to finish off the legacy that has run for so long.”

So come on guys, calm your tits. It’ll be okay. I do know your pain but IT’LL BE OKAY.

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Round and round like a teddy bear you go!

Just be glad your Doctors don’t fake suicides in each generation. Oh god could you imagine? No…no no nononononononononon

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I don’t even watch the show, but I bet you 50 lbs it’ll be okay. Trust me on this one :)

BBC Sherlock- Color Theory Ch.10 (Story Completed!)

View this fanfic on DeviantArt

View this fanfiction on Fanfiction.net

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—Chapter Sneak Peak—

"It’s alright," he stated in a quiet deep tone.

Just from the moment of reassurance he could already tell that she was better as the shaking in her hand stopped and her bodily trembles began to steady. He felt so warm next to her. It was the greatest feeling in the world. She felt protected in his presence as she also felt protected with Watson around. There was nothing more comforting then knowing everything was alright. Eleanor then smiled as Sherlock took his hand away and stretched a bit as he quickly changed the conversation.

"So…how did you know which building we were in? What gave it away?"

"The way the cabbie parked. I don’t know if it was actually intended, but I noticed nonetheless. Under normal circumstances I would have went off of pure gut feeling, but this wasn’t a normal circumstance. Regular people naturally park closest to the building they are going in, but the cabbie parked more on the left side of the parking lot then the right. And what better way to throw off unwanted parties then to give the illusion that you’re in the other building by playing a simple reverse psychological trick. That and the right building had more lights on and considering that the cabbie talks to his victims, they have to be able to see each other and you can’t very well do that in the dark so there you have it. I mean yes any of the rooms could have been occupied, but in the end it was just a feeling I had so I went with it.”

Sherlock then chuckled lightly.

"What?" Eleanor asked, smiling again.

"Clever," he smiled back.

"Uh…t-thank you," she lifted her eyebrows with surprise, clearing her throat. He really was genuinely complimenting her. She was at least expecting a little correction of some kind, but no…there was none.

"Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m just glad you’re alright,” she stated in a final thought as she tossed her gaze off in the distance.

"Are you sure you weren’t just worried about winning your bet?" Sherlock suggested in an open jest as Eleanor almost chuckled in a shrugging playful denial, "I don’t know what you’re talking about…I really…"the two chuckling openly "…I really don’t. Ahh, what a night." Sherlock then smiled again.

Guyz, I think I broke Tumblr with my Sherlock post…

I just posted gif’s about everyone’s reaction to Sherlock series 3 trailer and this what happened to my text…

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wtf? The formatting isn’t supposed to do that xD. Everyone is so excited that it even gave Tumblr a stiffie. Guess you could call it BONERlocked hahahaha. Seriously wtf? My text! Sherlock you broke my Tumblr! Seriously though scroll down and take a look. All my other posts are fine except that one xD

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I’m sure there are Sherlock haters out there, but dayam guys…you haterz better watch out…

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…cuz the Sherlockians? They bite…very hard.

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You better watch yourselvz xD I feel sorry for any moron stupid enough to get in the way of the Sherlockian happiness that is going on right now. All this is just hysterical to me. It really really is. And I love being a part of it and watching everyone dance.

I haven’t seen Tumblr this excited since Tite Kubo showed a body part glimpse of Grimmjow’s return. Ha!

New Sherlock Series 3 Trailer you say? Oh. Okie Dokies.

I must be like the only one that’s being super calm about the new Sherlock Series 3 Trailer? Cuz I saw a link for it on FB and I clicked and watched and my only reaction was…

Then I jumped on tumblr and saw the excitement explosion which is basically summed up by…

Fangirls

Fanboys

Dr Who lovers of Sherlock

Avenger lovers of Sherlock

Star Trek lovers of Sherlock

The Entirerty of Sherlockians

Everyone Else

So again I’m seeing all this gargantuan amounts of excitement and I’m sitting here going…

Oh okay then…right-to! I’ll just sit here and stro-er I mean clean this violin wand thingamajiger and play an instrument I don’t know how to play, but I love it to bits because now all it reminds me of is Sherlock.

What were we talking about? Oh yah…

POAKAIMD;FGKKAJP;DIFGJA;OKAIDJGF;AKIJHFGPIAJFG;OKAJFD;KJA;OIGJAEAPIIRHTEIRANBLKJRBEOIUOAAHTPRRIJ;AQKEMR;A;K HFGGPEJPAIJGROEI;IAJMG;RAEEKNAJGGRPEARIJHRGPEAIJGNGR;OAKKRAINJAROAINOMHGOOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.

Okay are you guys happy now? I had a short three second moment of super happy. I’m good now. :) I guess I’m not as super pumped because I got into the series shortly after Start Trek: Into Darkness came out. I wans’t there from the beginning like everyone else, waiting a year or two between each series. I got to simply just dive in so I didn’t have to wait so long to see all the episodes. Nonetheless I am excited and looking forward to seeing John’s reaction to Sherlock returning. :D

Johnlock- (Playing Fetch)

  • In celebration of a friend helping me find a John cosplayer to go along with my Sherlock cosplay, I'm posting our very first SH/JW conversation hahaha.

  • Friend:

    Just remember though. I need to get the cosplay. I have a cane xD

  • Me:

    I haven't even started mine yet lol

  • SH:

    A cane? Oh good, we can play fetch.

  • JW:

    I'm not chasing after my cane.

  • SH:

    *throws cane* Be a good boy, fetch!

  • JW:

    No.

  • SH:

    But you're so good at ignoring your psychosomatic limp. Quite amusing. Come on I'M BORED!

  • JW:

    No Sherlock.

  • SH:

    What if I get rid of the head in the fridge?

  • JW:

    I won't degrade myself Sherlock.

  • SH:

    If I get the groceries and get rid of the head?

  • JW:

    You'll forget the milk.

  • SH:

    Not if you come with to remind me.

  • JW:

    I don't /want/ to have to come with you.

  • SH:

    But who else is going to shout brilliant abuse at the machines?

Guys I…I um…*clear throat* I have no idea what happened. I opened photoshop and then suddenly this came out of it.

Actually I’m seriously…seriously shocked and nearlly disappointed that no one (that I have ever seen) hasn’t already done this. People keep shipping things with Sherlock’s name so tonight it suddenly dawned one me…dread locks hahahahahhaha. Enjoy! Something to cheer up all the peeps that couldn’t make it to Comic Con (including myself).

[Edit] Forgot to add the Doctor. Can’t have the DreadLock without the Doctor to help braid them.

BRAINlocked…dear god this is just the beginning.

So I saw the Lone Ranger today and in the beginning of the movie when the ranger is talking with a woman, he holds up a book by John Locke, but instead of seeing “John Locke” I saw “Johnlock” in my mind.

It’s like everywhere I go Sherlock is following me and winking inside my brain.

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STOP IT! I need my brain to function. First the SMAUG check pun I keep thinking of when I pass car repair shops, then the movie reference that my brain picked out on its own without me even realizing it until a second later.

But you think that’s bad? No…no no no let me tell. LET ME TELL YOU. During dinner naturally we put up our hands to pray before we eat the meal, right? Well instead of putting my hands in a praying position with the fingers interlocking and what not, I did THIS INSTEAD….

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I started laughing because it took me a few seconds to realize the position of my hands, like it was natural. omg why? STOP INVADING MY MANNERISMS SHERLOCK!

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stop it….stop it…stop it….STOP!

Not that I’m complaining mind you. It’s all fun. Just if only I had a Sherlockian with me to enjoy these moments of Sherlock brain fcking my thoughts and mannerisms. I need a John in my life so I can cosplay Sherlock for them. I totally would. Who lives in Northern California and needs a Sherlock in their life? XD

It’s time for DragonKeeper333’s Sherlock Analysis corner. So here’s a food for thought for you guys and a rather common subject that I’m sure has been talked about on numerous occasions, but has it ever been talked about like this? 

Why does Sherlock never correct people when they assume John is his date | lover?

It wasn’t until before I jumped in the shower today that I realized…no one ever assumes anything positive about Sherlock except that one thing.

Think about it. From what we know of the BBC Sherlock world, the only thing that anyone has ever assumed positively about Sherlock was that John is his date | lover. 99% of the rest of the time we constantly see and hear Sherlock objected to negativity that is most crude.

Psychopath…Weird…Freak…laughing…scoffing…its the only thing we hear and see people say about him.

I personally have been bullied in my life when I was in middle school. I’ve been called “weird” and “freak” so I know how Sherlock feels when he hears those things whether he acknowledges the pain it brings or doesn’t. Now imagine hearing those things all your life. Or at least the vast majority of it. And then one day…someone comes along…and assumes something positive about you…even if its completely wrong…wouldn’t it be refreshing? Wouldn’t it be nice…even if its wrong…to hear something positive out of all the negative?

Would you stand and correct them on it? Or would you just simply allow them to keep assuming that positive thing so you can get a break from all the negative?

How more flattering then for someone to assume that “such and such” is your date, that they would jump with the idea that you’re pleasant and wonderful enough for someone to be in your life? That they assume you have kids or that you’re married or in Sherlock’s case, that he has a date? Even though its completely wrong, isn’t that much nicer to hear than for someone to constantly call you “freak” or “weird”? Wouldn’t it be at least a fraction of a moment’s relief to hear something nice?

I think that’s the true reason or at least one of the main reasons why Sherlock never corrects people on that sort of thing because it’s the only positive thing he ever hears. It’s not like hearing such a thing adds a detrimental factor to his life. People assuming John is his date doesn’t get in his way of crime hunting. It’s just simply…nice.

It’s no different then him not correcting John when the doctor compliments him out loud in episode 1 when Sherlock is making deductions about the lady in pink. “Brilliant…amazing…” etc etc or in the cab ride. Sherlock is so used to getting crude ridicule that it almost baffles him that he would get a compliment like that, so naturally he would welcome it, maybe even eat it up.

Not to mention it takes needless energy to constantly correct people on the matter and Sherlock of all people is not going to waste his energy on others needlessly, so he simply allows them to believe what they want.

When people assume nice things about you, they’re more likely to leave you alone. Sherlock prefers to be alone because it protects him. When people assume you’re nice, they’re also more likely to trust you, something Sherlock needs as an advantage if he’s to extract information from someone to solve a case, because he will do it. He will take advantage of the opportunity.

How’s them apples?

Sherlock Character Analysis: you have to wonder what the backstory is to this one

sherlockcharacteranalysis:

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thecutteralicia:

ivyblossom:

You have to wonder what the backstory is to this one. I mean, people who know and love Sherlock are absolutely, 100% convinced that John is Sherlock’s date the moment they see Sherlock and John together. It’s a running gag, obviously, but it…

I absolutely positively agree with this analysis and would like to add a bit more to it.

It seems to me a lot of the times that people have the misconception about how far a friendship can go without it being any form of sexuality, relationship or gender fix. There are friendships out there (one of which I’m in) where the two friends (of the same gender) are so closely identifiable with one another and click so closely together in personality that it could easily come off as, or misconceived as an attraction that is of a sexual nature and considered coupling between the two, but in reality they’re just simply close friends.

Everyone talks about soul mates right? Well why not soul friends? It is not impossible to meet someone of the same gender (or opposite gender) that are so closely in tune with one another that it mimics an actual relationship. There are many aspects of a romantic relationship that can be found in a deeply rooted friendship. It’s even possible that the deep roots are so intertwined that it could mimic a love that you normally would have for someone in a actual relationship.

A friend of mine is probably the closest friend I’ve ever had in my life. The first time I met her, we clicked immediately in a way that I’ve never clicked with someone. I feel closer to her than I have ever felt towards the men I’ve dated in my life. That’s how well we fit together. I feel she is like a “soul friend”. My feelings for her mimic that type of love I would have for a man, but without sexual attraction. I have no attraction to her in that way and never will, but point being…we’re “friends”. We will always be “friends”.

When sexuality gets involved that’s when it changes things and redefines the dynamic between two people.

Asexuality is actually a prime example of this sort of thing; gender not having anything to do with it or sexual attraction for that matter yet people automatically assume that “oh yeah John is gay for Sherlock because of such and such and such and such” even though he clearly objects and CLEARLY STATES that he is not gay.

You can interpret it however you want, but John is a straightforward man. He’s a decisive trained soldier that knows exactly how he feels on things and how he views things. Yes he’ll listen to other viewpoints and might even consider them, but otherwise he’s pretty much fixed on how he feels and how he sees things.

So is Sherlock.

Sherlock is a rational logical thinker. Bisexuality is more in tune with “sexuality” or “sexual attraction” than Asexuality would be. Sherlock is asexual more than anything else, not necessarily to say that he is incapable of sexual attraction, but merely that its “not his area.”He’s married to his work. That’s how its always been. He’s a logical thinker. He’s in tune more with the thousand of thoughts he has more than he’ll ever be with his feelings. Again this isn’t to say he’s incapable of feeling or incapable of loving someone. He most certainly is capable, he just doesn’t act upon it so the best way to describe his sort of sexuality is Asexual.

John is straight. That doesn’t mean that the two are incapable of having a friendship that can be closely in tune with one another without it being sexual or homoerotic. In my humblest analysis in agreement with the analysis that is being reblogged, I truly believe Sherlock and John share this strong type of friendship that mimics aspects of an actual relationship. Its not impossible for two men to be close to each other in friendship without it being gay in any shape or form, or bisexual for that matter. They just simply are that close.

(Source: greisekinderschar)

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